Midnight Madness
by Bibi1
Summary: This is a fic dedicated to Verbena, so read her fics! It has celery, a poodle named Ralph and a slumber party. Interested yet? R/R please!


Midnight Madness: An X Files Slumber Party

TITLE: Midnight Madness

AUTHOR: Bibi the Magnificento!

DISCLAIMER: You know, I really wish I owned these characters, but I don't.I really wish I owned the show, but I don't.Hey Chris!I'll buy them for a dollar!!! YES!

SUMMERY:This is a gift fic for Verbena.Expect craziness and a very hard to find plot.But for the people who just _have_ to know what's in it:Celery, Cheese sticks,porn, slumber party…man, this is sounding really bad…uh, I swear it's all innocent…except maybe the porn part…

SPOILERS:Uh…not really.I mean, this is utter nonsense.And if you don't watch x files enough then why are you reading it?

EXCUSE:It's midnight…Isn't that excuse enough?Mwahahahah!Oh, and did I mention that I'm crazy?Didn't think so…

 

On with the story:

 

 

Midnight Madness 

** **

 

 

Once upon a time there was a woman named Scully.She was an FBI agent who had a strange feeling that her life was more entertaining than a soap opera, but she wasn't sure.

 

SCULLY'S APARTMENT

It was ten minutes to midnight, and she was as bored as the time her partner Mulder tried to tell her about his love for celery.So she decided to talk to herself.Aloud.

"Hi self," said Scully. "How have you been lately?Oh, don't worry, I get lonely too.But you keep me company all the time.Especially during those meetings with AD Kersh.Yep.Yeah…uh…maybe I should call some one.What do you think?Yes?Okay.Let's see.I'll call Mulder and then I can ask him to-"

 

MULDER'S APARTMENT

"-watch some porn." Mulder got up to go to his movie shelf."That sounds like a good idea.It's my fav-o-rite pastime.Then talking about celery is my close second.Yes."

And then the phone rang.Mulder hated that.He could never watch his favorite porn without a phone-sex operator interrupting.Damn those women with sexy voices.Always making the rates higher.It was getting to the point that he considered giving them up altogether and just call Scully.But no…she was boring.Like that time she tried to tell him about her love for cheese sticks.

"Hello?"

"Wassuuuuuuuup?"

"Wassuuuuuuuup?"

"Drinking a Bud; watching the game," replied Scully.

Mulder smiled a huge smile of huge-ness. "Really?!"

"No."

"Oh, okay," said Mulder."So what do you want?"

"I was bored, so I decided to call you.Really bored.Really really bored.Really really, extremely-"

"Okay, I get the point.This isn't about cheese sticks, is it?"

"No…as long as this isn't about celery."

"Okay… So what do you wanna do?"Mulder eyed his movie shelf longingly.

"I dunno," Scully said, eying her picture of John Stewart longingly."Wanna come over?"

"Do we get to watch porn?"Mulder asked hopefully.

"Only if it has John Stewart in it," Scully answered, then immediately regretting it.

"Yes!This one _does_ have John Stewart in it.Boy, Scully.This is gonna be fun.We should make it into a slumber party!!!"

"Oooooh! Okay!"Scully exclaimed, jumping up and down like a little girl."Who are we inviting?Skinner, and Doggett, and Reyes, and Kersh-"

"Nooooooo," Mulder whined."Not Kersh.He's a big bully!"

"Yes!Then we can put shaving cream in his hand when he falls asleep!"She explained.

"Oh, in that case, okay!"

So Mulder and Scully planned their slumber party over the phone.And magically and strangely, it was still ten minutes to midnight.Duh duh duh!

 

SCULLY'S APARTMENT

Mulder lay in the middle of Scully's living room, holding his favorite celery and breathing deeply.Meanwhile, Scully was on the phone inviting everyone.

"Hey Mulder!"Scully poked his eyeball.

"What?Can't you see I'm meditating with my favorite celery?"

"I just wanted to know if I could invite-"

"Go away!It's celery time!"

"But I just wanted to know if it was okay to-"

"Yes fine leave," Mulder said in a nasty tone of nasty-ness.

"Okay then," said Scully.

"Okay then," said Mulder.

"I'm heeeeeeere,"said Skinner.Scully jumped gleefully.Skinner watched gleefully as she jumped gleefully.Then he remembered that he liked men…or did he?

"Come on in, Skin-man,"said Mulder, who was now munching his favorite celery.Skinner walked inside and was then followed by:Doggett, Kersh, The Lone Gundorks, the ghost of Queequeg, and a poodle named Ralph.Reyes didn't wanna come over.She was too busy trying to become a female Mulder.

"Well,"said Scully."What do you guys wanna do?"

"I brought porn," said Mulder.

"I brought twister," said Kersh.

"We brought Al Gore,"said The Lone Gundorks.

"Bark," said Ralph

"Boooooooo-ark," said Queequeg.

"I like women," said Skinner.

"Huh?"Everyone turned to look at him.

"Sorry."

"Okay,"Scully said decisively."Ralph and Queequeg, you go play in the kitchen with Al Gore. We're going to play Truth or Dare."

Ralph frowned, but got up to leave."Bark…"

Then, all of the sudden, there was a knock on the door.And it was still ten minutes to midnight!Duh duh duh! 

Scully went to open the door, and it was…VERBENA!!!

"Yea!"said Scully, jumping up and down excitedly.Kersh, Skinner, Mulder, Frohike and Doggett watched her excitedly as she jumped up and down excitedly.Then, in a flash, it occurred to Mulder who had just entered.

"Verbena?What are you doing here?"

"Scully invited me, and you suck," Verbena explained.

"Scully,"asked Doggett."You did this?"

Duh duh duh!

"Of course," Scully answered."Verbena is my best friend!"

Duh duh duh!

"Hey," exclaimed Kersh."Where did the Skin-man go?"

Duh duh duh!

They all searched until Verbena found him hiding behind the couch.He was pretty bad at hiding, but what did you really expect from Skinner?After that, they all settled in to play Truth or Dare.And Verbena was going first…Duh duh…okay that's getting old…Snap crackle pop!

"Okay," she said."Long haired weirdo.Truth or Dare?"

Langley thought for a moment."Truuuuuudaaaaaaaatruuuuuthhhhh….yeah."

"Hmmm…Do you like your TV show?Truthfully now."

Langley fought long and hard the urge to tell a lie, but everyone knows it is impossible to tell an untruth during Truth or Dare.

"Itreallyreallysucksandweshouldallbekilledfortryingtohaveourownshow,"he said all in one breath.Verbena smiled wickedly.Langley glared.He then looked around for his victim.

"Kersh.Truth or Dare?"

"Damn…uh, dare.I don't want a long haired conspiracy weirdo asking me questions."

"I dare you to…to…to…kiss Verbena!"

Verbena's eyes popped out of her head.That wicked long haired freak!"Nooooooooo,"she said in slow motion.It was Langley's turn to smile wickedly.Ah, sweet revenge.It really was disgusting though, and he wondered if it was really worth it.Verbena felt like she would be scared for life.Scully was sorry she had invited Kersh.Doggett pretended he was a terminator.Mulder pondered the meaning of life.Skinner tried to figure out if he liked men.Frohike stared at Scully who was staring at Byers who was staring at Al Gore in the next room.

"I like women," said Skinner.

"You've already established that, sir,"Scully snapped."It's Kersh's turn anyway."

"Alright then, Agent Scully,"Kersh said."Truth or Dare?"

Gulp."Um.Truth?"

"Truth.Yes.Do you think I'm a sexy hunk of black man?"

"Actually…no."

"Damn."

"My turn,"Scully said gleefully."Mulder, Truth or Dare?"

"Dare!Dare, baby!Woo!"He punched a fist into the air, accidentally hitting Skinner, who was getting just a bit to close for comfort.

"I dare you to stand on your head naked while reading Doggett his rights and eating a cheese stick!"

Verbena turned up her nose, knowing the only person who really wanted to see that was Scully.And maybe Al Gore.

 

SCULLY'S KITCHEN

Ralph: "Bark!"

Queequeg: "Boooo-ark!"

Al Gore:"Woof."

 

SCULLY'S LIVING ROOM

Verbena crossed her arms.She tired of The Lone Gundorks' stupid antics that were distracting Skinner from the game.

"That's it," shouted the girl."You, you and you, sit in the corner.No, not that one.No, not that one.Yes, that one."

When that was accomplished she stood in the middle of the group.

"Okay," she proclaimed."It's time to play a little game called Verbena Gives Everyone Special Powers That Are Crap."

"Haven't you already done that before,"Doggett asked.

"Oh…then we are playing a game called Seven Minutes In Heaven."

"Yes!"all the guys said at once.Scully looked scared.

"But I get to choose the partners," Verbena added.Now everyone looked scared."Okay.Let's see.Skinner and Al Gore."

"But I like women."Skinner said.

"No you don't."Verbena told him.

"I don't?Oh."

"Anyway.Skinner and Al Gore.Mulder and Queequeg's ghost.Doggett and Kersh.Langely and Byers.Frohike and Ralph.Scully and John Stewart…and Me and Harlan Williams!"

And sure enough, there in the doorway stood John Stewart and Harlan Williams in his Mr.Headmistress outfit.And it was still ten minutes to midnight.Snap crackle pop!

"That's it," Byers exclaimed, getting out of his corner. "I have had enough of you Verbena.You are…you are…y-y-y-you are-"

"Are what Byers? Y-y-y-y-y."

"Queen of the universe?"

"That's what I thought!"Byers shut his mouth and groveled at her feet.And that was when Verbena-

 

VERBENA'S ROOM

-woke up.She yawned at stretched her arms.

"Man, that was some dream."

She got up and went into her kitchen and ate a cheese stick.She sat down at the kitchen table and had some milk and cookies for a midnight snack.She looked to the chair to the left of her.

"Hi Harlan," she said.She drank another gulp of milk and then spat it out.Harlan?!Snap crackle pop!

 

The End!!! 

** **

 

Okay, you may now all shoot me. Bye bye now!Hope you liked it Verbena!

 

Doggett:Hey!I wanted to play twister!

Mulder:And I wanted to watch my porn.

Scully:That's okay, because John Stewart showed up anyway.

Mulder:So.

Scully:So, he was in the porn!

John Stewart:I was in the porn?

Scully and Mulder:Yes.

Skinner:I like women.

Verbena:Take away the wo part and you've got that right.

Skinner: …

Kersh:Ya'll come back now, y'hear?

 

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